Just one of those days...

Background:
1) I am lazy when it comes to bathing, especially on holidays when i'm at home the whole day. I keep postponing my bathtime until, before i know it, the day is over and i have gone yet another day without having a bath. However, i love getting wet in the rain, and in this season- i frequently consider getting drenched in nature's pee as the equivalent of a 'cleansing bath'.
2) I thought i knew the name of most toiletries.
3) I have never used liquid soap. (Imp.)

To lengthen this post and make it falsely seem 'intelligent by quantity', i shall post some not-so-relevant things before i get to the point.

Time: 4:00 pm (It's raining heavily)
Dad(D): Shiva, it's raining. Have you had bath yet?
Shiva(S): Nope, not yet.
D: Me neither. Want to get wet in the rain first? You can have a nice hot bath later.
S: Sure. Would love to. (Dad and i change into shorts, go out on the terrace and get drenched in the cold rain. Mom clicks pictures of the two of us enjoying the rain. Mom hates the rain.)

Time: 4:30 pm
( I am drenched. The wind is cold. My teeth are chattering. For a change i can't wait to have a nice hot bath)
S: (through chattering teeth) Mom, is the water hot yet?
Mom(M): Yes. I have filled up 2 buckets for you and your father.
S: Thanks mom, you are the best! Dad, isn't she the best??
D: (through chattering teeth) Yup! (unfortunately for him, it sounded like a "Yuck")
[I would not like to go into the conversation that followed between the two of them]

Time: 4:35 pm
(I get into the bathroom, lose my cold shorts, and begin to indulge in what happens to be called 'bathing')

Time to be more specific. I got to the point when my body was wet enough to apply soap. I looked around for the regular green bar of soap (lyril?) There was a real tiny strip of the green soap in the soap tray -doubtful if it would last even one more bath. Just about then my eyes fell upon this thing of beauty lying in the corner:

Brand new bottle of unused Lux international body wash (It had this 'you-have-to-hold-me' kind of shaply figure)

At first glance i assumed it was a new shampoo (never seen liquid soap in a bottle before), but then quickly noticed it said "Body wash" and not "Hair wash". I like trying out new things, and liquid soap was the neo that caught my fancy. The bottle looked and felt LUXurious. Aha!- Today i shall have a refreshing change from solid soap i thought. I flipped the bottle over and began reading the instructions (i ALWAYS read instructions). Things were going fine until i came across this sentence:

Loofah? What the hell is a loofah? Where the hell is a loofah?? Wet?? soft?? Fluffy??? I had no idea.

[Hey for a guy who doesn't deem a daily bath necessary, for someone who hasn't had the priviledge of using liquid soap- I had every right Not to know what a loofah is. So if you just went: "Wow! Shiva's dumber than i thought. He doesn't even know what a loofah is. *giggle*" -- then screw you!!]

I spent 10 minutes trying to figure out what a darn loofah was. (My wet body began to dry up btw).. The following thoughts ran through my head:
-> It's probably a spelling mistake... but no, wait...this is not pirated indian stuff that would have a spelling mistake (bought a music cd once of "Byran Admas").. it's lux international for God's sake!

- >Maybe they meant a body part in a "coochie-coochie" way..(loofah does sound cute, doesn't it?)....maybe it was a body wash primarily to be used only on certain body parts.. i gave a quick glance, carefully scrutinizing my anatomy for any hints of a possible match with 'loofah'.. i came to this conclusion: 'there is absolutely nothing in the male body that could possibly be a loofah'.. well, one part did come close by satisfying 'wet'and 'soft' but it sure as hell wasn't 'fluffy'. But then again, this seemed to be a predominantly female product..

-> Maybe they meant "hair" in a "coochie-coochie" way... hair is wet, hair is soft and hair IS fluffy... a perfect match! made me think that this is Shampoo after all! but the "body wash" title sure was discomforting. I gave up.

Time: 4:50 pm
(I open my bathroom door a crack, slide my head out and call out to mom on top of my voice)

S: Mom, give me the loofah!
M: (Shouts back from another room) Give you the what???!
S: The Loofah, The Loofah!
M: Did you check your pockets?? Maybe you left it there.
S: Mom, i'm in the bathroom, i have no pockets! I WANT THE LOOFAH!
M: I have no idea what that is.
S: What do u mean you don't know??? Don't u use the liquid soap??
M: We have no liquid soap.
S: Yes We do!! It's right here! Didn't you buy it???
M: No. Look, I'm busy in the kitchen, ask your father to give u what you want.
S: Dad, Where is the loofah?
D: (shouts back from another room) Ask your mom. She's the one who keeps all things.
S: Mom doesn't know what the loofah is.
D: Then how would i know? Listen to your mom. And hurry up, you've been in there for over 20 min now.
S: Aaaargh!

I decide- to hell with it! I certainly wasn't going to use this thing , which nobody knew how it landed up at our house in the first place, until i knew what a loofah is. Life has taught me that 'if you don't understand the instructions, don't do it.'
I stuck to my good old tiny bar of green solid soap that day.

-Cheers.

PS: Later i took a quick survey to find how many of my friends actually knew what a loofah is.

*70% of the girls knew what a loofah is. (made me feel like a doofus)

*98% of the guys didn't know what a loofah is. (Made me very glad)

And if you are among the ones who doesn't know what a loofah is - Click here to find out

-Cheers.

Click here to see all my posts made in the month of July